Sunday, January 17, 2016

Update: The Exciting, the Sad, and the Sincere

Hello all! I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but we've been rather busy around here!

Gavin is now almost 20 months old and so stinkin' smart, I can't take it. He's talkative and can say mama, dada, ghanag nah (that means juice don't ask me why), Nack Nack (that means blankey), cocoa (for Chloe, our chihuahua), Rye Rye (for Riley, our other chihuahua), Na-Na (for Sophie, or other other Chihuahua), Good girl (referring to his puppies), Pa (for grandpa), Papa (that means puppy), no, yeah, Toodles (from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse), wawa (for water), bye bye, ba-ba, teacher, yellow, two, cheese, crackers, car, and go, just to name a few. He can also talk using sign language. He is seriously so smart, I can teach him something once or twice and he catches on right away. I can't list everything he can do, because I would be here all night. But everything is documented in his baby book! He is also very observant, which is good, but we definitely have to watch everything we do and say. Gavin is a wild boy! He loves to climb, run, and play. We have to go to the park everyday because if we don't he will end up climbing onto the kitchen counters... I'm serious! He is also sweet, loves the outdoors, loves Mickey and Paw  Patrol, and of course food!

We had a busy summer, we went to the boardwalk every Tuesday and Thursday morning before Tommy went to work. Gavin is obsessed with going on rides. He loves to go fast! We went in the pool a lot, had so many barbecues and play dates. We went to a few library play groups, We went on vacation to Lancaster, Pennsylvania and we went to Sesame Place a different time. We went to the park and out for ice cream countless times. We had a blast this past summer!

I went back to work in the fall. It isn't too bad, Gavin wakes up at 8 a.m. and I come home for lunch at 11 for an hour to see him. Then he naps from 1-3 and I get home at 3! I spend the rest of the day with him. I don't miss too much during the day. And the good news is: My mom and Tommy are still with him during the week so Gavin is able to stay home!

We are still currently living with my mom to save up for the house we are having built for us. If everything goes as planned, the house should be finished around Fall 2016.

The holidays were fun and Christmas was extra special this year...

I am 9 weeks pregnant! YAY!!!!

This time getting pregnant wasn't as easy as it was the first time around. Wait, getting pregnant was easy, it was staying pregnant that was the problem. We conceived last August and lost the baby in September. I bled a dark brown for a few days and called my doctor right away. She told me to come in to check everything out. When I arrived, my doctor checked me with an ultrasound. She saw the yolk sac, but no embryo yet. She said it was because I was very early along and couldn't be no later than 4 weeks pregnant. The dry blood could be implantation bleeding and not to worry.  The next day I bled, a lot. Thick, red, and I even saw some things I wish I didn't. It was seriously one of the saddest days of my life. I was left feeling empty and wondered why God would let something like this happen to me. With help from God and his Word, Tommy and I did a lot of soul searching. Our faith was definitely being tested and we read so many helpful versus to help up through this, but the one verse that helped my husband and me the most was:

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Worrying won't change anything, but praying and talking with God helped us feel at peace with our situation and helped us move forward in the future. There were potential reasons why I miscarried, The most common one was the embryo could have had a chromosome defect. But, maybe it wasn't the right time for us. Whatever the reason, we put every ounce of trust in God and know he will guide us in the right direction.

After blood work confirmed my miscarriage, my doctor told me to wait until I had a normal period cycle before trying to conceive again. We waited and then conceived again in October. I found out I was pregnant right before our trip to Colorado. Tommy, Gavin, and I were going to visit family with my mom and sister. I started bleeding November 6th which was five days before my period was due. Right away I was suspicious because my period is always right on time, never late, never early. I thought maybe the miscarriage through off my cycle...great now I'll never know when I'm ovulating! Besides my "period" being early, my boobs were tender, I was nauseous, I had food aversions, I was moody... But, there was no way I was pregnant with this bleeding situation. I caved in and took a pregnancy test. Sure enough, it came out positive. I called my doctor right away and she told me to come in. At the doctor's I took a pregnancy test and it tested negative. She did another ultrasound and didn't see anything, except a thicker uterus lining, which was probably from my period. She sent me to get blood work and I went right away because we were leaving for Colorado in two days. My blood work came back with an HCG level (the pregnancy hormone) of 43, which was low, but confirmed my pregnancy. The morning of our flight out to Colorado, I had to get more blood work done to see if the HCG levels were rising or falling, talk about stressful. Two days into our trip my doctor called and told me my HCG level went from 43 to 46. So either that means I was very early or I will miscarry again. The night before our flight back home, I started bleeding. A lot. Actually, I couldn't even stand without the blood running down my leg. What a fun flight that was. When we got home, I had to get blood work, yet again. My level was back down to five and I felt back to "normal." Tommy and I continued to pray and read the bible every night. We continued to trust God with all of our hearts. We healed quickly from the second miscarriage.    

 Right after I miscarried in November, we got pregnant again that month. This time I've been pregnant over the 4 week mark where I've seemed to be miscarrying. After the second miscarriage, my doctor sent me to get a bunch of blood work (I'm surprised I have any blood left) to see if we could find any answers to why this was happening, especially since my first pregnancy was problem free. Everything came back negative. She then told me to get an emergency ultrasound at the hospital RIGHT AFTER my next period... which never came.

I am 9 weeks now and I just told my doctor last week that I was pregnant. I didn't want to rush to the doctors like I have in the past. I wanted to wait to see what happened. It's not worth getting stressed out and worried about the chances of losing another baby, so I waited. I have an appointment this week, and I will keep everyone updated. 

The reason I am putting my personal business online for all to see is because I wanted to share my miscarriage stories with other women. Nobody ever seems to want to talk about miscarriages. I mean, some people won't even mention they are pregnant until the second trimester for that reason alone, which is fine, it's their choice. But for me, I'm glad I told everyone I was pregnant so early because then when I had to share the sad news, I had so much support. I can't even tell you how many women said, "Oh, that happened to me too." Miscarriages are common, yet nobody wants to talk about it. In fact according to: "As many as 75% of conceptions miscarry." The number one cause for a miscarriage is a chromosome defect and the embryo isn't growing right. The body basically aborts the fertilized egg because it recognizes a problem. Some of these women also told me how alone they felt because they never told anyone, so no one could help them through this heartbreaking time. I am seriously grateful for all my friends and family who shared their stories and helped my family and me through this. If any of my readers, whether you are friends, family, acquaintances, or just my blog follower, feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to. I would love to be the person to help you through this! 

As of now I have over 12,000 readers from all over the world and I can't wait to share my pregnancy with you all!


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